This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker (a very funny comedian) could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes). The BBC didn't receive any complaints, the speed of delivery must have been too much for most...
If you can read and understand the spoonerisms (vladan will look it up if anyone needs) you get a gold star for English :D
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This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The prandsome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
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12 comments:
Absolutely brilliant, dahrling! :) LOL!
Interesting that you use the words of an Englishman (i.e. island monkey) to test the levels of English, wouldn’t you agree Ryan?!
Jean, i can't beleive you thought Kent made the post - Kent wouldn't know about comedy as great as that if it bit him on his arse.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Jean. You really think that I would sink to such levels as to convey a post like that as funny? You are sadly mistaken, island monkey.
Not funny! Kent, i thought you said you struggled to read it because you're not allowed to laugh in your office?! and you felt if you read it you would be fired because you would be laughing sooo much?!
Well, Mr. Babin at least these island monkeys cherish and encourage freedom of the press…number one..in your face 21!!!
give me a break, jean..the brits were 24th and, last time i checked, ryan is from there and not from ireland, so nice try.
Secondly, i was just trying to get the island monkey fire going...i actually did think the post was funny, but jean went after me so i had to respond
i like how no-one has picked up on the quality english i have in the title of the post...
that's because i expect that kind of shoddy english from you. No point in flogging a dead horse, i "reckon."
I don’t care where Ryan is from, I’m defending my own monkey islanders…I kinda like it now, it sounds cute…like an island full of Hanumans…I wanted to dress up as him for Halloween, actually!
Your words hurt me Jean.
Hey it’s every woman, man and monkey for themselves in this cruel world!
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