Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Saturday, June 17, 2006
An Icelanders Indian Memories
My Worst India Moment(s)
On my way home to The City Beautiful I took a Sleeper Bus fro Udaipur to Delhi. Ofcourse my bunker bed was the ONLY one not to have curtains. So, ofcourse, the lovely Indian men sleeping around me all had their curtains open for the view. I turned to the window and tried to ignore it and sleep.
In the middle of the night, I woke up to something stroking my butt. I decided someone had been passing by and accidentally bumped into me (now, after all this time in India, don´t ask me why I gave these Indians the benefit of the doubt).
A few seconds later, I got stroked a second time. I realized it was no accident. So, when the third stroke came, I rushed up and saw an Indian jump behind the curtains of his bunker bed across the hallway.
I opened the curtains and started yelling “Excuse me, excuse me” at the man who lay there pretending to be fast asleep. After a few loud “Excuse me´s” he pretended to wake up with a confuzed expression on his face. Pathetic! I screamed a few well-picked words in Hindi, but seeing as I had been working with children during my traineeship, my vocabulary was limited to colours, animal names and such. In the end (as I usually did with the children) I made him apologize: “Bollo: Sorry – Bollo: Sorry”. What an asshole!
The story is not finished! After a whole night on the bus, I took a bus from Delhi to Chandigarh, ran some errands in Sector 17 and 35 and took a rickshaw back home to the traineehouse. Now, when I took of my clothes to take a shower, I noticed a BIG hole in the back of my trousers. YES, the Indian gentleman had been cutting a hole in my trousers when I was sleeping. And, I had walked around Delhi and Chandigarh with my underwear showing the whole day.
Amazing Indian Men
My Best Indian Moment
Oddly enough, I had to think for a while before I could find a good moment from India... most of my memories seem to involve harassments of one sort or another.
I will give my “Best Indian Moment” to my favorite stalker: Narinder Singh “The Guardian of Tourists”. As I´m sure many of you did, I had the pleasure of bumping into him quite often.
He had the best explanation to why Indian men think they are “all that”. They concider themselves to have very large Johns. So large in fact, that us western women would much rather be with an Indian man than one of our own. Now, I never experienced an Indian John during my stay. Obviously a grave mistake. Can anyone vouch for this?
Amazing Indian Confusion
Funniest Indian Moment
In the beginning of my traineeship there were about thirty trainees around. Someone had heard of a circus coming to town and we all baught tickets. I hadn´t had much experience with India or Indians at that time, so I went, expecting a circus – a real circus.
Dear lord! It was the most awful entertainment.
There was a man on stage making his dogs roll over for ten minutes.
A girl lay on the ground and an huge elephant layed on top of her. I would have been more disgusted if it hadn´t been for the ridiculous giant advertisement for “Mandir Taylors – Suits and Sarees” hanging over the elephants back which kept my attention.
The best moment was when twenty girls came to the stage holding flags. They walked around in circles for five minutes, without doing so much as waving one flag.
All this, and more, went on to the most hilarous music. Repeatedly they´d play Circus-versions of The Beatles “Hey Jude” and Phil Collins “Groovy Kind of Love”.
Amazing Indian Entertainment
On my way home to The City Beautiful I took a Sleeper Bus fro Udaipur to Delhi. Ofcourse my bunker bed was the ONLY one not to have curtains. So, ofcourse, the lovely Indian men sleeping around me all had their curtains open for the view. I turned to the window and tried to ignore it and sleep.
In the middle of the night, I woke up to something stroking my butt. I decided someone had been passing by and accidentally bumped into me (now, after all this time in India, don´t ask me why I gave these Indians the benefit of the doubt).
A few seconds later, I got stroked a second time. I realized it was no accident. So, when the third stroke came, I rushed up and saw an Indian jump behind the curtains of his bunker bed across the hallway.
I opened the curtains and started yelling “Excuse me, excuse me” at the man who lay there pretending to be fast asleep. After a few loud “Excuse me´s” he pretended to wake up with a confuzed expression on his face. Pathetic! I screamed a few well-picked words in Hindi, but seeing as I had been working with children during my traineeship, my vocabulary was limited to colours, animal names and such. In the end (as I usually did with the children) I made him apologize: “Bollo: Sorry – Bollo: Sorry”. What an asshole!
The story is not finished! After a whole night on the bus, I took a bus from Delhi to Chandigarh, ran some errands in Sector 17 and 35 and took a rickshaw back home to the traineehouse. Now, when I took of my clothes to take a shower, I noticed a BIG hole in the back of my trousers. YES, the Indian gentleman had been cutting a hole in my trousers when I was sleeping. And, I had walked around Delhi and Chandigarh with my underwear showing the whole day.
Amazing Indian Men
My Best Indian Moment
Oddly enough, I had to think for a while before I could find a good moment from India... most of my memories seem to involve harassments of one sort or another.
I will give my “Best Indian Moment” to my favorite stalker: Narinder Singh “The Guardian of Tourists”. As I´m sure many of you did, I had the pleasure of bumping into him quite often.
He had the best explanation to why Indian men think they are “all that”. They concider themselves to have very large Johns. So large in fact, that us western women would much rather be with an Indian man than one of our own. Now, I never experienced an Indian John during my stay. Obviously a grave mistake. Can anyone vouch for this?
Amazing Indian Confusion
Funniest Indian Moment
In the beginning of my traineeship there were about thirty trainees around. Someone had heard of a circus coming to town and we all baught tickets. I hadn´t had much experience with India or Indians at that time, so I went, expecting a circus – a real circus.
Dear lord! It was the most awful entertainment.
There was a man on stage making his dogs roll over for ten minutes.
A girl lay on the ground and an huge elephant layed on top of her. I would have been more disgusted if it hadn´t been for the ridiculous giant advertisement for “Mandir Taylors – Suits and Sarees” hanging over the elephants back which kept my attention.
The best moment was when twenty girls came to the stage holding flags. They walked around in circles for five minutes, without doing so much as waving one flag.
All this, and more, went on to the most hilarous music. Repeatedly they´d play Circus-versions of The Beatles “Hey Jude” and Phil Collins “Groovy Kind of Love”.
Amazing Indian Entertainment
Friday, June 16, 2006
Granny Jean is leaving Chandigarh!
Granny Jean
Never without a drink in her hand...
And very cranky when she doesn't get her 8pm!
But where would we have been without you DJ-ing. Certainly the international dance styles wouldn't have bloomed so well!
So on behalf of all the past traines, current trainees, stalkers and wierdos you've met along the way, Chandigarh will miss you.
Enjoy Egypt!!!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Best/Worst/Funniest Awards
Damn you for making me reminisce, Sam!
Best Moment
It has to be shooting the movie… spending a day kissing Dobi while dressed as a soldier – you can’t go wrong with that really! And then dressing up as a rather dashing Navy Captain which meant I could recreate the scene where Richard Gere picks up his lady and walks off into the sunset with any obliging young lady. I want to be a movie star! …again!
A close second has to be when, a few days after arriving in Panchkula, I was getting ready to go to Manali and got talking to Kent, who I hadn’t really spoke to that much beforehand, and told him that I was really looking forward to going away for the weekend. When he asked why, I promptly told him that it was because I wouldn’t have to see his ugly face while I was away. And so it was that a friendship was born based upon friendly insults from Kent, and honest insults on my part (just kidding Kent…)
Worst Moment
Having random things stolen from my room, and my first bike, Agnes, taken for a joy ride, abused and then returned as a complete wreck. Only to be repaired and stolen a couple of weeks afterwards. Or maybe it was getting my second bike stolen. I also heard rumours that my third bike was stolen as I left the country…
Funniest Moment
Salvador is better at telling this story, but I’ll have a go anyway…
It all happened during one of the traditional RMS trainee’s Saturday Chats between myself, Vladan, Salvador, Marian and Arno/Parno.
During his time in India, Arno developed an evil personality at RMS, Parno, owing to some confusion between pork and porn (that’s another story though…) and we were talking rubbish about that during a group MSN chat, when we started to wonder why Marian was being so quiet (this was his first time joining in the conversation) So we guessed that it was because the evil Parno spirits (at this stage I’d like to point out that we were working Saturdays, and so even the slightest distraction became amusing…) had infected him.
I think it’s also worthwhile to note at this point that Marian’s keyboard was quite temperamental, and only some of the keys worked – a problem he had raised a couple of times before, but of course being in India, nothing was done about.
So when Marian tried to defend himself, all that he could say was a clearly demonically possessed “hshffmmwinf” or something along those lines… and now I can get around to the Funniest Moment bit…
This garbled comment was enough to crack me up, but I was managing to control my laughter - until I heard Vladan laughing out loud way over at the other end of the office. The laughter was still pretty much under control until I looked over my shoulder to see what state Salvador was in. At this point Salvador also looked over at me, in pretty much the same state I was and once eye contact was made we were both pushed over the edge into uncontrollable laughter. Salvador was beyond control now, so thought it would be best if he left the office and seek solitude in the toilets to calm himself down. Only to make himself laugh even more with the realisation that his attempts to suppress his laughter resulted in some rather dubious groaning sounds coming from the toilet cubicle…
And so he had to leave the toilets which weren’t helping his situation and leave the building completely for a cigarette break. Only now as he was struggling to control his laughing, the owner of the company happened to walk past and ask him how he was doing…
Salvador’s description, and acting out what happened, when he finally returned to the office rounded off the whole event nicely, ensuring that no work would be completed for the rest of the day as we kept falling back into laughter about it all.
And I know the post is already quiet long now anyway, but I also need to mention my close second… when during a horror movie, The Grudge, Benjamin managed to recreate the ‘scary’ noise that had been used throughout the movie, during one of the tense scenes by slurping the remains of his drink through his straw… that in itself slaughtered me, but Johanna’s persistent confusion about why me and Ben were laughing meant that my face hurt from laughing way into the journey back from Fun Republic.
Best Moment
It has to be shooting the movie… spending a day kissing Dobi while dressed as a soldier – you can’t go wrong with that really! And then dressing up as a rather dashing Navy Captain which meant I could recreate the scene where Richard Gere picks up his lady and walks off into the sunset with any obliging young lady. I want to be a movie star! …again!
A close second has to be when, a few days after arriving in Panchkula, I was getting ready to go to Manali and got talking to Kent, who I hadn’t really spoke to that much beforehand, and told him that I was really looking forward to going away for the weekend. When he asked why, I promptly told him that it was because I wouldn’t have to see his ugly face while I was away. And so it was that a friendship was born based upon friendly insults from Kent, and honest insults on my part (just kidding Kent…)
Worst Moment
Having random things stolen from my room, and my first bike, Agnes, taken for a joy ride, abused and then returned as a complete wreck. Only to be repaired and stolen a couple of weeks afterwards. Or maybe it was getting my second bike stolen. I also heard rumours that my third bike was stolen as I left the country…
Funniest Moment
Salvador is better at telling this story, but I’ll have a go anyway…
It all happened during one of the traditional RMS trainee’s Saturday Chats between myself, Vladan, Salvador, Marian and Arno/Parno.
During his time in India, Arno developed an evil personality at RMS, Parno, owing to some confusion between pork and porn (that’s another story though…) and we were talking rubbish about that during a group MSN chat, when we started to wonder why Marian was being so quiet (this was his first time joining in the conversation) So we guessed that it was because the evil Parno spirits (at this stage I’d like to point out that we were working Saturdays, and so even the slightest distraction became amusing…) had infected him.
I think it’s also worthwhile to note at this point that Marian’s keyboard was quite temperamental, and only some of the keys worked – a problem he had raised a couple of times before, but of course being in India, nothing was done about.
So when Marian tried to defend himself, all that he could say was a clearly demonically possessed “hshffmmwinf” or something along those lines… and now I can get around to the Funniest Moment bit…
This garbled comment was enough to crack me up, but I was managing to control my laughter - until I heard Vladan laughing out loud way over at the other end of the office. The laughter was still pretty much under control until I looked over my shoulder to see what state Salvador was in. At this point Salvador also looked over at me, in pretty much the same state I was and once eye contact was made we were both pushed over the edge into uncontrollable laughter. Salvador was beyond control now, so thought it would be best if he left the office and seek solitude in the toilets to calm himself down. Only to make himself laugh even more with the realisation that his attempts to suppress his laughter resulted in some rather dubious groaning sounds coming from the toilet cubicle…
And so he had to leave the toilets which weren’t helping his situation and leave the building completely for a cigarette break. Only now as he was struggling to control his laughing, the owner of the company happened to walk past and ask him how he was doing…
Salvador’s description, and acting out what happened, when he finally returned to the office rounded off the whole event nicely, ensuring that no work would be completed for the rest of the day as we kept falling back into laughter about it all.
And I know the post is already quiet long now anyway, but I also need to mention my close second… when during a horror movie, The Grudge, Benjamin managed to recreate the ‘scary’ noise that had been used throughout the movie, during one of the tense scenes by slurping the remains of his drink through his straw… that in itself slaughtered me, but Johanna’s persistent confusion about why me and Ben were laughing meant that my face hurt from laughing way into the journey back from Fun Republic.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Random Question Time
I was wondering does anyone know a good website where you can share your personal videos/film clips?
I mean a site where you can upload them and friends etc can view them... nothing like youtube or that public!
Any ideas/suggestions would be most welcome!
I mean a site where you can upload them and friends etc can view them... nothing like youtube or that public!
Any ideas/suggestions would be most welcome!
Monday, June 12, 2006
Best/Worst/Funniest?
Wow, this is tough. I need to submit the candidates to my brain for voting. Hopefully the voting will be fair and democratic, without any influence from the other lobes. Sorry for the lack of pictures, maybe i'll upload them some day.
Best Moment:
Hanging out in the back of a liquor stand with the Panchkula police eating chapati, daal, and aloo and drinking some beer. Highlight of the night was getting to hold a rifle.
Worst Moment:
Although I was already back at home, the day that same liquor stand was demolished was a rough one. So many memories went down in a cloud of dust.
Funniest Moment:
Buying liqour at said liquor stand for christmas party, only to have a case of beer fall off one of the bikes. Five were lost in the debacle, however we did manage to save a horse from being crushed by a cart. I'm still trying to figure out why this is funny....
I find it odd that my most memorable moments from Panchkula are based around a liqour stand. It's justified as follows:
Internship at Company = Bad, Liqour = Happy, therefore Liqour + internship at company = necessary to remain sane. Hmm...that made no sense.
Best Moment:
Hanging out in the back of a liquor stand with the Panchkula police eating chapati, daal, and aloo and drinking some beer. Highlight of the night was getting to hold a rifle.
Worst Moment:
Although I was already back at home, the day that same liquor stand was demolished was a rough one. So many memories went down in a cloud of dust.
Funniest Moment:
Buying liqour at said liquor stand for christmas party, only to have a case of beer fall off one of the bikes. Five were lost in the debacle, however we did manage to save a horse from being crushed by a cart. I'm still trying to figure out why this is funny....
I find it odd that my most memorable moments from Panchkula are based around a liqour stand. It's justified as follows:
Internship at Company = Bad, Liqour = Happy, therefore Liqour + internship at company = necessary to remain sane. Hmm...that made no sense.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
PIGS Brunch
PIGS = Punjab International Gourmet Society
(i.e. foreigners in Chandigarh who get together once a month to share food and socialise)
It's time again for another PIGS potluck brunch! Trainees are all welcome to my house for a cool air-conditioned break from the hot summer. But for those die-hard sunlovers, there are two balconies where you can enjoy the warm air.
Sunday, June 18
11am
Please bring enough food to feed the number of people in your party. I'll supply juices, soft drinks and whatever alcohol I have in my liquor cabinet (warning - my liquor cabinet is rather limited).
(i.e. foreigners in Chandigarh who get together once a month to share food and socialise)
It's time again for another PIGS potluck brunch! Trainees are all welcome to my house for a cool air-conditioned break from the hot summer. But for those die-hard sunlovers, there are two balconies where you can enjoy the warm air.
Sunday, June 18
11am
Please bring enough food to feed the number of people in your party. I'll supply juices, soft drinks and whatever alcohol I have in my liquor cabinet (warning - my liquor cabinet is rather limited).
Saturday, June 10, 2006
I'll start...
Since I'm not actually on a traineeship, then I'll just describe my best, worst and funniest moments relating trainees.
Best Moment:
During the Christmas party in Panchkula that Kent's boss paid for, when during the first five minutes of the feast when everyone dived into the cheese, all you could hear was "Mmm... Yumm... Mmmm" and various other expressions of satisfaction. It was a great shared moment that only we could have understood and appreciated.
Worst Moment:
Saying goodbye to so many trainees, like Johanna & Ben, Kent, Nacho, ... and the hardest was Ryan because he was the one I had spent the most time with (and because he's a great guy, of course).
Funniest Moment:
Definitely Alcolympics By Night. Watching drunk people run crazily in the wrong direction after having chugged beer, spun around in circles and had their retinas burned out by a camera flashing right in front of their faces was priceless!
Best Moment:
During the Christmas party in Panchkula that Kent's boss paid for, when during the first five minutes of the feast when everyone dived into the cheese, all you could hear was "Mmm... Yumm... Mmmm" and various other expressions of satisfaction. It was a great shared moment that only we could have understood and appreciated.
Worst Moment:
Saying goodbye to so many trainees, like Johanna & Ben, Kent, Nacho, ... and the hardest was Ryan because he was the one I had spent the most time with (and because he's a great guy, of course).
Funniest Moment:
Definitely Alcolympics By Night. Watching drunk people run crazily in the wrong direction after having chugged beer, spun around in circles and had their retinas burned out by a camera flashing right in front of their faces was priceless!
FORMER TRAINEES UNITE! SAVE THE BLOG!!!
Now that Jamie, the blog administrator is gone, and Jean, also a frequent blogger is leaving soon, the trainee blog is in grave danger of going extinct as bloggers become an endangered species in the trainee community in Chandigarh. (Or one could say that the trainees themselves are the ones becoming endangered.) There are only 4, soon to be 3 trainees left in Chandigarh. So we need to convince them that the blog is a fun and happenin' place to whittle your hours away at work.
To all the former trainees, here is your call to show your support to the blog! Here is the challenge:
Create a new post describing your best, your worst, and your funniest moments during your traineeships in Chandigarh.
Feel free to give a little background for trainees who weren't around during those moments. And if you can't think of all three moments, then just list the ones you can think of... Or if you can't think of any, then just post something, anything!
SPREAD THE WORD! SAVE THE BLOG!!
To all the former trainees, here is your call to show your support to the blog! Here is the challenge:
Create a new post describing your best, your worst, and your funniest moments during your traineeships in Chandigarh.
Feel free to give a little background for trainees who weren't around during those moments. And if you can't think of all three moments, then just list the ones you can think of... Or if you can't think of any, then just post something, anything!
SPREAD THE WORD! SAVE THE BLOG!!
Friday, June 09, 2006
BBQ at Sandra's
For the four trainees who are left in Chandigarh, Sandra (one of my colleagues) would like to invite you to an informal BBQ at her house tonight at 8pm. If anyone needs the address, then send a text message to me (or Jean). Afterwards, if you guys want to stay over at my place, then you are welcome to.
I asked her what we could bring and she said that dessert would be good.
I asked her what we could bring and she said that dessert would be good.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Lucie - sbohem! And Safe Home. A Tribute.
Surprised Lucie
Cooking Santa Lucie
Shopping Lucie
Dehydrating Lucie
Best of Luck at home Lucie!
...All My Flatmates Are Gone!!
Jamie – Cheerio Old Chap. A Tribute.
Possessed Jamie
FilmStar Jamie
Holi Jamie
SunStroke JamieBest of Luck on your travels south! And enjoy your Virgin flight home!
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Be Wary of the Satanists Today
I've just found out, and felt it was my duty to inform you all, that today is the 6th day of the 6th month 2006 – 06/06/06 and therefore “has great significance for evil-doers and Satanists who revere the number 666.”
But it's ok because there are Christians holding 'a violent day of worship', whatever the hell that is?!
And an added bonus fact from the BBC - The fear of the number 666 is known as hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia. Now try saying that after a few drinks!
But it's ok because there are Christians holding 'a violent day of worship', whatever the hell that is?!
And an added bonus fact from the BBC - The fear of the number 666 is known as hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia. Now try saying that after a few drinks!
Monday, June 05, 2006
Cool – Normal Films!
I've just realised Steven Spielberg's last film Munich is in the happening FR! Of course the timings are stupid, but I plan on going this week some day to the 7.30pm show if anyone wants to join me!
Thought I'd go watch a film for a change instead of starring in one!
Friday, June 02, 2006
Something for the Girls!!!
Good news girls, a recent study has just revealed that
'Moderate Alcohol Consumption May Make Women Sharper'
If you don't believe me you can check it out for yourself!
'Moderate Alcohol Consumption May Make Women Sharper'
If you don't believe me you can check it out for yourself!
To hell with Chandigarh -
I'm off to Egypt!
Mmmm......wonder what the class system is like over there...
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